So, the region surrounding Johannesburg and Pretoria is known as Gauteng. I have only 4 minutes left on my credit for internet, so here's some flashes:
Soweto = the most well developed, affluent township/ex-slum I've ever seen.
Museum for June 16th, the day the world began to notice apartheid, disturbing but excellently rendered.
Rasty's graffiti = amazing, huge, full of color and reflective of life. It's like the music here, only visually.
Race dynamics are intense here. Walking around with our (black) African friend Tshepo earned us a lot of wierd looks from black and white Africans alike.
Johannesburg is HUGE. Ridiculously so.
Rich suburbs have a
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Weddings
One of the last things I did in my site in Morocco was attend a wedding. One of the first things I did in the US was... attend a wedding.
They were very different.
They were also similar. The brides both wore white. The grooms both wore white, too. I think the grooms also wore jeans for part of both ceremonies... I dressed up for both of them, and wore way more eye make-up than I usually do. They were both stressful occasions and very happy occasions. The weather was perfect for both. The food was delicious (but different) at both. I stayed up super late on account of both weddings. The both involved music. They both involved dancing. They were both community affairs, conducted in the homes of friends and family. They were both religious.
But beyond that... well. The Moroccan wedding proceeded as usual. The brides family prepared her for the big day, with her dowry, and the intricate flowers and patterns of henna covering her hands and feet. The groom's family cooked huge amounts of food, mostly the typical goat/lamb and prunes and sweet onion sauce with bread dish (it's good, trust me!). They served lunch to the close family and got ready to bring the bride over. Then, they carried their gifts to the bride across town on mules, singing and dancing and chanting and playing drums the whole way to the brides house. Once they got there, the brides family dress the bride under cover of a sheet held over their heads. (Aside: I always think of the forts my brother and I used to make as kids when they do this...) Then, they brought the bride back to the groom's house on a other mule, singing and dancing and ululating and playing drums the whole way. A short break ensued while people drank coffee and sweet mint tea and ate bread to regain their strength. By this time it's getting dark. Once dinner time rolls around people usually start showing up, and this time was no different. I put on my white-with-green-trim tkoboot/tjellabit, wrapped a head-scarf around my hair, and put ridiculous amounts of eye-liner on before I headed over. The rest of the night is just hanging out in gender specific rooms, clapping and singing and dancing. And eating. The men eat first, and then the women. I ate at about 1am. Pretty standard for a women's room. My replacement got stuck in the last room and didn't eat till 3 am. That was a bummer. Then, I went home. The party went on, though, it lasts untill dawn, when the do the donation ceremony. People give money, and for each donation two boys stand up and hit swords against each other and speak a blessing over the donor and the newlyweds. Then, everyone goes home and sleeps. The bride's family gets up to make lunch, and everyone comes over to eat. More singing, dancing, clapping, ululating, blessing, etc. The third day the mother of the groom brushes the brides hair to welcome her into the family. At some point in all this, the newlyweds are supposed to consumate the marriage. Assuming both partners are satisfied with the results (ie. the bride is proven a virgin and groom successfully does the deed), the wedding is culturally official, and the paperwork is deemed valid.
This wedding was strange for me. People kept coming up to me and saying: "You're leaving tomorrow?! Oh no, well, we wil miss you and we are very fond of you and you must come back. Bring your husband and we will do a wedding for you. Bring your children and show them. Get married soon so you can do this!!! Come back, thank you for your work, I hope the new volunteer is as good as you (I squirm uncomfortably), blessings on your future life, say hi to your family, bring your family, visit us soon!!!!!!!!"
One woman even went so far as to sing a song for me. I was very touched, but also extremely embarassed... I felt like I was distracting people from the wedding.
The next morning I got up early and figured out transport to Rabat (which was, of course, more complicated than it originally had seemed). At least I didn't have the transport leave without me, but with all my stuff already on it, like happened to my friend B.
The wedding here was great! It was very community cerntered, which is rare here, but which I really really liked. Having just come from Morocco, where the hwhole community helpes with the whole things, it felt very natural. It also allowed me to get to know the other bridesmaids (all friends of my friend), which made it feel more natural as well. It was the most beautiful wedding I have yet been to. I hope when I get married I can have such a lovely ceremony, with friends and family and outside, classy but not too formal, with good food and good feeling all around.
Culture shock? Oh yeah. I kept reminding myself that it was OK for me to be wearing spghetti straps, or shorts, or a knee-length skirt, or a tight shirt, or my hair down... I missed friends, boyfriend, and the quiet life. On the other hand, throwing myself into wedding preparations gave me a way to push past the "outsider" feelings I was experiencing. I felt so different and so similar to everyone, it was weird and difficult. One day, I wore a Moroccan house dress, because wearing American clothes felt dishonest to how strange I felt inside. It allowed me to give myself permission to feel different, reminded me of my (good) reasons for feeling different, which seemed to be enough to just let go of the related insecurity. That time. It helped that everyone has actually be very understanding and supportive. Thank God for my friend E. who took time and energy out of her wedding prep to listen to me, look at my pictures, and laugh at my funny cross-cultural stories. It helped. A lot.
And that, is most of the story of two weddings. :)
They were very different.
They were also similar. The brides both wore white. The grooms both wore white, too. I think the grooms also wore jeans for part of both ceremonies... I dressed up for both of them, and wore way more eye make-up than I usually do. They were both stressful occasions and very happy occasions. The weather was perfect for both. The food was delicious (but different) at both. I stayed up super late on account of both weddings. The both involved music. They both involved dancing. They were both community affairs, conducted in the homes of friends and family. They were both religious.
But beyond that... well. The Moroccan wedding proceeded as usual. The brides family prepared her for the big day, with her dowry, and the intricate flowers and patterns of henna covering her hands and feet. The groom's family cooked huge amounts of food, mostly the typical goat/lamb and prunes and sweet onion sauce with bread dish (it's good, trust me!). They served lunch to the close family and got ready to bring the bride over. Then, they carried their gifts to the bride across town on mules, singing and dancing and chanting and playing drums the whole way to the brides house. Once they got there, the brides family dress the bride under cover of a sheet held over their heads. (Aside: I always think of the forts my brother and I used to make as kids when they do this...) Then, they brought the bride back to the groom's house on a other mule, singing and dancing and ululating and playing drums the whole way. A short break ensued while people drank coffee and sweet mint tea and ate bread to regain their strength. By this time it's getting dark. Once dinner time rolls around people usually start showing up, and this time was no different. I put on my white-with-green-trim tkoboot/tjellabit, wrapped a head-scarf around my hair, and put ridiculous amounts of eye-liner on before I headed over. The rest of the night is just hanging out in gender specific rooms, clapping and singing and dancing. And eating. The men eat first, and then the women. I ate at about 1am. Pretty standard for a women's room. My replacement got stuck in the last room and didn't eat till 3 am. That was a bummer. Then, I went home. The party went on, though, it lasts untill dawn, when the do the donation ceremony. People give money, and for each donation two boys stand up and hit swords against each other and speak a blessing over the donor and the newlyweds. Then, everyone goes home and sleeps. The bride's family gets up to make lunch, and everyone comes over to eat. More singing, dancing, clapping, ululating, blessing, etc. The third day the mother of the groom brushes the brides hair to welcome her into the family. At some point in all this, the newlyweds are supposed to consumate the marriage. Assuming both partners are satisfied with the results (ie. the bride is proven a virgin and groom successfully does the deed), the wedding is culturally official, and the paperwork is deemed valid.
This wedding was strange for me. People kept coming up to me and saying: "You're leaving tomorrow?! Oh no, well, we wil miss you and we are very fond of you and you must come back. Bring your husband and we will do a wedding for you. Bring your children and show them. Get married soon so you can do this!!! Come back, thank you for your work, I hope the new volunteer is as good as you (I squirm uncomfortably), blessings on your future life, say hi to your family, bring your family, visit us soon!!!!!!!!"
One woman even went so far as to sing a song for me. I was very touched, but also extremely embarassed... I felt like I was distracting people from the wedding.
The next morning I got up early and figured out transport to Rabat (which was, of course, more complicated than it originally had seemed). At least I didn't have the transport leave without me, but with all my stuff already on it, like happened to my friend B.
The wedding here was great! It was very community cerntered, which is rare here, but which I really really liked. Having just come from Morocco, where the hwhole community helpes with the whole things, it felt very natural. It also allowed me to get to know the other bridesmaids (all friends of my friend), which made it feel more natural as well. It was the most beautiful wedding I have yet been to. I hope when I get married I can have such a lovely ceremony, with friends and family and outside, classy but not too formal, with good food and good feeling all around.
Culture shock? Oh yeah. I kept reminding myself that it was OK for me to be wearing spghetti straps, or shorts, or a knee-length skirt, or a tight shirt, or my hair down... I missed friends, boyfriend, and the quiet life. On the other hand, throwing myself into wedding preparations gave me a way to push past the "outsider" feelings I was experiencing. I felt so different and so similar to everyone, it was weird and difficult. One day, I wore a Moroccan house dress, because wearing American clothes felt dishonest to how strange I felt inside. It allowed me to give myself permission to feel different, reminded me of my (good) reasons for feeling different, which seemed to be enough to just let go of the related insecurity. That time. It helped that everyone has actually be very understanding and supportive. Thank God for my friend E. who took time and energy out of her wedding prep to listen to me, look at my pictures, and laugh at my funny cross-cultural stories. It helped. A lot.
And that, is most of the story of two weddings. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)